Random thoughts

...and then I realised everything he knew, he learnt, he thought was obsolete. It was like sleeping in the 90s and waking up in the 2400s. It was a dream. No, it was more than a dream, it was real. It was unlike anything he had ever imagined.
It was sad but it could have been worse. And then he felt a strange feeling of happiness within. Or was it just feeling of serendipity? He felt he had discovered something. Something new. Something so enchanting...

High and lows

Virtually everyone who had any chance of promotion got promoted back in the old company. All the 2+ developers became senior developers; all the senior developers became Associate TMs; all the ATMs became TMs; all the TMs became Senior TMs and all the Apples became Oranges.
the skewed developer to manager ratio has been inverted and I guess the company has replaced the old problem with a new one.

anyways, am not an analyst or a seer, so any concers is thrown right out of the window.

Coming to the real thing, ever since I landed up in Pune, most of th days have been like shit. Getting drunk is not a solution 'coz I never get drunk enough. The new job is extremely boring. The team lead and the manager rate me highly and have been handed some stuff which highly product centric and am going nuts over the whole thing.

I don't hope for the better,
'coz there's worse beyond
I guess I'll make it anyways,
'before the lights are gone.

Even the weekends didn't feel all that great. Saw a couple of movies - "Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind" and "A history of Violence". The history thing was crap and the Eternal ssunshine made me feel like crap. Here's a line from the movie...

Valentine's day - a day the card companies invented to make people feel like crap...

sad, sad movie.

Got rejected from Penn State uni for god knows why. Waiting for a rejecteion from virginia tech as well. I guess all that 99 percentile GRE doesn't work if you are really not destined to go.

They say, theres life and career beyond masters in India. Am not sure about the former and I doubt about the latter.


Would really help if I have life beyond my cubicle, can't wait to get out.
Am joining swimming this week, enrolled for another course for the next week. Pune is growing on me. I guess am not all that adaptable.


Surely, this too shall pass...

The adaptation of Pk

Part I going nowhere:

2 full weeks into the job and 2 full weeks in Pune.
If losing a job was difficult, fitting into a new job is harder.
Following is a small chronology of events since landing in
Pune -

26th Feb 2006 -

08:00 am
In the bus from Nagpur. Its suchi's b'day, gotta call her up. Note to self - "call suchi after landing in Pune"
09:00 am
Pune it is. Gotta catch a rick to Hadapsar, a place called 'Pandrah (15) number'. Strange. Note to self - "find out why?". Asked the rick driver. Ups the rate by 50 %. Caught on a back foot, trapped.
Note to self - "don't ever ask a rick driver an address if you don't wanna be taken for a ride. that didn't come out right"

10:00 am
Finally arrive at Pushpendra's hostel, looks kinda erie, the warden/owner/c-grade-horror-flick-actor looks suspiciously at me and my baggage. Am leaving in a couple of hours.

11:00 am
Called up Modi's cousin for a flat. Meeting arranged at 11:30, ganga village.
Caught a rick again, did not ask for the address. Note to self - "enquire the pedestrians about the address pedestrian"

11:45 am
Ganga village is not village, its a township.

12:30 pm - 04:30 pm
Visited 3 flats, each worse than other. Puneites have a very concept of "amenities". Note to self - "look elsewhere. anywhere."

05:00 pm
back in the hostel. lets rest a li'l

05:30 pm
another flat.

06:30 -08:00 pm
No place to go. Get a lodge.
Visited two excuses of a lodge. Third time lucky, this one has a bar. Done.

09:00 pm
End of story. Tomorrow is a long day. Joining IBM.

How to lose a job

Got a new job in IBM last week. Resigned this monday and life has never been the same.
My manager has asked me to do a "Knowledge Transfer" of whatever I've learnt in the company. Have been on a dead and now scrapped project since last 5 months. God knows what sort of a "knowledge transfer" is he expecting me to do.
Resigned a week ago and have had the sleepies week in history. Come to the office everyday, slashdot a little, digg a little, watch cricket scores... all in all wade away my time.
Really sucks you know, I virtually have no job right now. Hope my IBM manager sticks with me and understands the situation or I'll die of boredom.

How to kill time at work

If you are emplyed and in IT, chances are you spend half your time skill building (read: on bench).
Here are a few tricks to spend time in office.


10. Change the keyboard layout to DVORAK and type an essay on "life in IT"
9. Forward your resumes. Include the title: "Will work for food"
8. ...spend the rest of the week sorting the job calls.
7. Dowload the whole Sourforge repository
6. .. write a comment for each line
5. Read H2G2 (or 1984) backwards
4. Watch Ind-Pak test scores....refresh scores every 15 seconds
3. ..write a script to do it for you
2. Surf the net holding the mouse in the wrong hand
1. Write a blog

10 things we have had enough of

• Amitabh Bachchan
  

This guy is something like a million years old and probably has a million times million fans who can't get enough of him. I have had. Mr. Bachchan, I believe you have cleared all your debts; wrung every kind of role dry; the number of models you've rendered jobless is challenged only by the number of wrinkles on your face.
People say, he plays his own age in movies. You know what people his age really do? They end up either in old age homes or babysitting their grand-children.
People are probably sick of seeing you in papers, movies, TV programmes, Ads, news, internet, blogs (oops!). I'll quote your dad (am a big fan of his) on this -

"

Poorab se fir suraj nikla,
jaise hoti thi subah hui,
Kyon sote sote socha tha,
hogi praatah: koi baat nayee
Lo din beeta, lo raat gayee

"

• Cyrus Broacha
  

Another man who should act his age. He is as funny as Johnny Lever (who just missed the cut to this list). Cyrus, when you first adorned the screen (in the mid 80s I think, its been such a long time), you were refreshingly different, now your run of the mill shows are a real PITA. Start looking for another job. Spare us.

• Malaika Arora - khan
  

Who doesnt like seeing skimpily clad 10/10 bodied women pole dancing and staring suggestively in his eyes (err.. camera)? Well, I do of course? Its like eating Masala Dosa - delicious but theres probably only so much you can eat, a masala dosa for each meal for a month and you'd probably not have another for the rest of your life.
It probably sucks having a loser, good-for-nothing husband around the house and she probably has to make all the money while hubby babysits.
Malaika, we have enough of you - in the music videos, in the item numbers, in nach baliye (it was such a relief when it was over. no more shmucky ads!), in 287 other irrelevant/insignificant dance/talent/dramebaazi show, in 314 movie/tele/adworld/corporate/fancy-dress award shows.
Ms. (oops! Mrs.) Malaika, if Koena Mitra can get a lead role, so can you. Stop dancing, start acting.

• Talent hunt shows
  

It started off with 'Meri awaz suno' and likes. Meri Awaz suno gave us sunidhi Chauhan. Sare ga ma gave us Shreya Ghoshal and Kunal Ganjawala. Fast-forward 5 years....
Indian Idol gave us Abhijeet Sawant! Abhijeet Sawant of all people? That guy cannot talk let alone sing. So far so bad.... then Fame Gurukul gave us Qazi Tauqeer!!!!! just one word - WTF!
(Last heard the local dhobi association is hosting a best dhobi contest. Now theres a show where you can wash dirty linen in pulic ;-) )

• Breaking news

Samples :
1. (A ticker down the screen.....) "Amitabh Bachchan starts feeding on porridge....."
2. "Beto ne kiya maan baap ko jaayadad se bedakhal..... maa baap on bhook-hadtal"
3. "Gaai ne bachchde ko janm diya, 5 saal mein yeh teesri ghatna"
4. "TN ... water rises by 6 nm since last hour"
5. "We are so lame we do not have any content...... plus we make most of the news up"

• Remix songs

I've been forced to include this one. I love remix songs. </sarcasm>

• Cricketers in ads
  

Virender Sehwag has opened more coke bottles on TV than test innings and Yuvraj singh has grabbed more endorsement deals than catches (Md Kaif is a better fielder anyways). As with AB, these guys too are not very popular with advertising models.
Latest news is that Sachin Tendulkar is worth Rs 500 crores! India can win the world cup with this amount (match fixing, any one?).

• Birthday calendars

"I am collecting birthdays of all my friends. Please spare some time to fill in (your email-id. so we can spam you). "
Friend, if you wanna wish me on my b'day, send me a Porsche. If you can't, I cant afford the spam.
I do not send for B'day calendar mails to ppl. Theres a simple rule and it goes something like this - If I don't wish you on your b'day, it means you are not that important.
Get a life.

• Uday Chopra

He is 3 movies old. Thats 3 movies too many.
Suggestion - Take a long vacation to Mongolia. Take Tussssshaaar Kkapoor along. Don't come back.

• Top 10 lists

Shit!

For some one who is a devout reader of Douglas Adams, it is a shame that I've been stuck on the same page of "Restaurant at the end of the universe" since the last 2 days. H2G2 is THE series I've been religiously trying to follow since the last two months. I'd have finished the whole damn thing if not for the project work.
We, the developers, are always under pressure to deliver. Man! its not like we develop magic cure for cancer or something? Seesh..